Sunday, July 10, 2011

Donating clothes to heal my mind

Hey all!

Remember yesterday when I said I was getting my domestic goddess on? Well that persona has carried through to today, and has combined with another step in my recovery from anorexia.

I purged the clothes I wore when I was underweight.


Recovering from anorexia, or any eating disorder for that matter, is a very difficult process. Some say that if you can overcome an eating disorder, you can overcome anything. Though I'm not sure I would agree 100%, the courage and strength recovery requires is monumental. All other efforts seem to pale in comparison.

One of the hardest parts of recovery is gaining weight. Not only is it physically hard, as your body is not used to eating so much food, it is a mental ascent of Mount Everest. It's like contemplating chopping off your legs because your doctor says it will make you healthier. And I loved my legs.

Twigs! I seriously looked like a child.
However, the time came when I realized that yes, I really did need to recover from this disease. Living in misery, constantly depressed, sad, irritable, angry, and weaker than a withered and quieted leaf was no way to live. I had to begin the long, painful trek, trudging through the thickness of my own blood and tears. I had to start thinking about the causes of my Eating Disorder, what caused my depression, anger, and deep rooted need to lose weight and glean 'attention' and 'respect'.

That was the mental aspect. Then there was the physical aspect of gaining weight. I went about it in a rather disorganized way, and as I was alone and starting college, I felt unbearable guilt and stress about the weight gain. However, I dealt with it, and eventually saw a nutritionist who ascribed me a meal plan for the last 18 lbs I needed to gain, and I felt much more comfortable about the whole thing.

And of course, when you gain weight, your old clothes just don't fit so well anymore.

Not so sexy.
 While I was in treatment, we had a "pants party" (no, it wasn't that progressive of a treatment center, don't get your hopes up :P) where each client was to bring at least one article of clothes that had unhealthy connotations for them. It could be jeans that you wore 40 lbs ago, a shirt that just felt too tight now, old workout shorts, 'inspiration' jeans, whatever. My friend actually brought in one of those blue jean purses...

... that was itty-bitty (probably kid's size) that she aspired to fit into one day.

I got rid of about six(!) bottoms, including old shorts, jeans, and pjs. We performed a rather wacky ritual, and got rid of the unhealthy clothes. Of course, that wasn't all my stuff. My parents were just at our home in France, as I briefly mentioned here, and they brought back a bunch of my old clothes.

So that meant clean out time!

Bye bye.

This was after I went through a lot of clothes.
Ooh look! More stuff to get rid of!
And my 'neat' organized clothes.
 One thing I've learned through this process? If it doesn't fit, get rid of it.

I don't care if it's designer. It just has to go.
New? Never before worn? Some underprivileged kid is going to be very happy.
Looks cute, right? Black silk, gold embroidery. 70 euros in Paris from Alan Manoukian. Worn about three times. I felt bad tossing it, I admit.

But this certainly does not look cute.
Honestly, what good will it do you to harbor old, tight clothing that just doesn't look good anymore? All it does is entice you to go back to the eating disorder and we all know that is never a good thing.

However, I must admit that there are a few things that I'm having trouble parting with.
My mom got me these pj's a few years ago, and they've fit and been comfy for years. Now, the shorts are a bit tight and the top is... well, you have eyes. But I feel bad tossing them since they still 'fit' and I would just be sleeping in them.

Mmmhmmm. I be so Sexy Lexi.

But this sadly takes away from my Sexy Lexi vibe.
I'm thinking of asking my mom to alter this till it fits again. 
It's cute, it's Armani, I love it, and I've worn it maybe a handful of times.

Another thing I've learned? It's okay to hold onto a few things for a while until you're ready to part with them.

More cool stuff? You rediscover old faddy clothes you completely forgot about.

Does anyone else remember the peasant dress/skirt trend? No? Ok, moving on...

You find awesome clothes that fit again!

Yay for cute Marc Jacobs dresses! And yes, my room is a mess. I'm currently redecorating it. If anyone wants I can do a post about my room! :)

Sparkle sparkle! Do I not look so much happier than when I was sick?
And now, all those clothes are being donated to Goodwill! It is completely a win-win situation. I feel better because I only have clothes that I love, fit me, and make me feel good about myself. Goodwill benefits, as do all the underprivileged people who shop there. My old clothes will be helping clothe people. What better a feeling?

Hope you had a great weekend!!

Have you eliminated clothing from your wardrobe lately?

Do you keep clothes around that don't fit/don't make you feel happy?

Would you be interested in me doing a post on how I am redecorating my room?


  1. Wow you own lotsa designer stuff! I'm jealous!

  2. Thanks! I buy all my designer clothes at Loehmann's, Marshalls, or TJ Maxx, so they're super cheap! That, or at thrift stores. I figure the quality is better so it'll last longer, and thus I don't need to buy as much stuff. It works for me! :)

  3. Hi Lexi! Thank you so much for commenting on my blog. It means a lot and I will definitely keep your tips in mind for my dorm room!

    Good job for getting rid of the stuff that doesn't fit you anymore. Clothes are supposed to fit YOU, not the other way around. And it just means you get to go shopping for new stuff! :)

  4. Hey Kristi, thanks for stopping over at my blog, and thank you for the encouragement! Getting rid of old clothes can be hard, but I agree with you that we are more important than our clothes. After all, they were made for us - not we for them.

    I hope you have an amazing time at college! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me! :)

  5. That's so great you went through all your clothes that were too small and got rid of them! You look amazing in your present day photos!

  6. Thank you! It's nice to get positive encouragement after all the changes my body has undergone. Sometimes I feel insecure at my current weight, but I have to keep reminding myself that it's healthy!