Okay, so it's not really mad at all. It's actually been pretty mellow, so far.
I'll just jump right into it. I've been struggling lately.
It all began at Grandma's - she has trouble walking, so basically the whole four days I was there (minus a short run, a jazzercise class, and a ride or two up and down the street on the bike) I basically sat on the couch with her, watching The Food Network. Goodness. I never realized how active I am at home, aside from 'real' exercise (aka intense, purposeful exercise like running, yoga, biking...) I'm constantly running around, painting my room, gardening, baking (standing on your feet in the kitchen for that long is exercise, ;) )
So, as time elapsed and my sedentary lifestyle got to me, I realized I wasn't as hungry as usual, and my carb and protein intake diminished. By my last meal, I was eating a huge fruit salad and maybe a 1/4 cup of kidney and garbanzo beans with haricots verts.
When I came home, I thought to myself "oh, you know, I could just have salad for lunch." And so... I did. A big salad of leafy greens, some chopped fruit, tomato, dried cranberries, and a 'lite' dressing. With dessert, of course ;) I can never forgo my favorite part of any meal. Then, I read Gena's philosophy on breakfast. She reiterated something I'd read in Skinny Bitch that sounded logical to me. Basically, when you wake up, your body is emerging from 'hibernation' and still processing last night's dinner. Thus, you shouldn't shock, or load it up with a bunch of heavy food. Rather, you should eat really light foods that your body can easily digest, like fruits, smoothies, etc.
So, of course, being the impressionable and slightly eating disordered person that I am, I grip onto her words and vow to eat only smoothies for breakfast as a sort of 'cleanse.' Bad idea. Not sure if it's the xanthan gum, or the amount of veggies I've been consuming, but my digestive system has not been happy. That, and I've been feeling super fat and bloated.
Obviously, this is not a good way for me to proceed, especially as I am still in recovery from anorexia. Sooooo, I've decided to try to get back on track by doing what I did in treatment. Basically, every weekday, I'll do a post that deals with the same topics covered in the groups at my treatment center on that day.
So, it'll look a little like this:
Monday: Goal Setting or interpersonal relations
Tuesday: Art Therapy
Wednesday: Body Image
Thursday: Experiential or Nutrition
So, today is Goal setting. Basically, I write up a maximum of four goals for the week.
1) Exercise more regularly
My injuries have been rather discouraging, and have forced me to get out of the habit of exercising regularly. I think the lack of exercise (endorphins, baby, endorphins!) has made me feel pretty sluggish and depressed lately, and I have had little to no desire to exercise.
I think I'm over my tendonitis, but now my calf muscles are as tight as cables right now, so running hurts. However, I went for a short run this morning, and it was glorious. It felt great to get out there and feel completely free, unfettered by earthly bonds like a purse, my dog straining on her leash, etc.
So I want to take really good care of my legs, like so:
My legs were covered in goose bumps by the time I took off the cold packs. My mom made them individual little sleeves to cover them. Isn't she sweet?
and continue doing exercise like walking, yoga, pilates, biking, and a tiny bit of running.
2) Get together with a friend
Pretty self-explanatory. My parents are at our house in France, and I'm by myself at our home in California. I think part of the reason I've been feeling depressed is the isolation.
3) Finish reading my book
How To Read And Why by Harold Bloom (professor at Yale.) My mom got it for me for X-mas, and I just finished Dear John, so I needed new reading material. This book is pretty good, from what I've read so far.
Mhmmm. Kombucha and Literature. Symbols of my two loves in life: Nutrition and English. Please disregard the huge thing of charmin' toilet paper in the background ;). Oh, and check out Bella in the background, lounging around and living a dog's life :P
Side note: does anyone else listen to Yale's open courses from iTunes? They're amazing. Really really good. Basically they're recorded lectures that Yalies actually take on various subjects. I've listened to Steven B. Smith's Introduction to Political Philosophy more than once, and find it so fascinating and informative. I really recommend you check them out on iTunes. Just type in Yale university, and a bunch will pop up. Best part? It's completely FREE.
So... yeah. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you have any goals for this week?
Can anyone else relate to the calf tightness thing? If so, do you have any recommendations for how to heal it?